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Pain Clinic.....

As I've said before, I HATE breaking in new MD's. When you're a Chronic Pain patient with Medicare only insurance, MD's tend to treat you as if you're whiny little snowflakes That are trying to get meds to either to get High or to sell. This one didn't start taking me seriously until he got my MRI faxed to him(Yay Nurses;>!). Let's put it this way. I said I thought my AM dose of Morphine could be "dialed down" and instead he recommended keeping it at the 90mg a day just 3 times a day instead of 60 in the morning. So he found out that I was, if anything, under-reporting my Pain.
At least we have a plan now. Next week they inject my spine to get the swelling of the nerves decreased and see if that helps. If it doesn't, it's Surgery.
And to add to my Stress, Chuck's had the worst 2 days since his Stroke.


Been pretty down since my Emotional collapse last month. Lots of self-examination.
One thing that was clear was that I'd become too dependent Emotionally on the online world. I'd thought about closing my journals but I think keeping them and just not put so much importance to them in daily life. I sign that I'm not the only one with this problem came up recently during a burst of activity on one of my Sourdough groups. It wasn't just that folks weren't Baking because of the weather, they weren't Baking....PERIOD. We were talking about Baking but few WERE(I'm one of the few that still WAS). Like much of my online world, Talk not Action.
Another thing I discovered unsurprisingly was that I'm OLD. Like I should have seen that one;>! Not just the tech(which I'm generally "up" with) but the various online cultures. Esp the alt.rel communities. Not only am I oft unsure what's being discussed, when I ask for clarification it's like being back in high school and asking something from one of the popular kids. Will the stuff I deal with daily in the Real World, I'm not really interested in playing status games with folks that haven't done as much in their lives as I had in mine before graduating high school.
I know it's not very coherent but it's been that kind of month and a half....

Reading is Fundamental!

Been enjoying my newest translation of the Poetic Edda from my fav Youtuber Prof Jackson Crawford. The only negative is that he did what he said he'd do; to make it more accessible to the average person. And since the average American has the skills of a 7th Grader;>....
This can be a bit annoying for poems like Havamal and Voluspa. OTOH, I've never enjoyed the Lokasenna more;>!
I think I'll dig through my shelves for books like 'The Well and the Tree'and such. Sure, they're riddled with UPG's but still, they're good works.


1st Hummingbirds since the Crape Myrtle was taken out. Didn't see any at the feeders, just the flowers. Supposedly, they prefer blossoms in the hot colours range but the one most visited was the Purple flowered Salvia 'Amastad'. Must be a great nectar producer;>....


Unsurprisingly, with the change of ecosystem in the front garden(from Shade to Sun and 90% botanical change) there has been major changes in the Fauna there. The Hummingbirds are about the same but we have a lot more butterflies. With all the Salvias and Pentas' there is lot for them to Feed on. Unfortunately for them, I don't have any forage plants for their caterpillars. On Hummingbird I'd a lot of Yellow Milkweed and various Passionflowers naturalized for them to munch on but I really don't have the space to set up a nursery. Haven't seen a Boxturtle since the Crape myrtle was taken down.
Pretty much all that's left in the front garden is to get rid of the old picnic table and move the little bistro table from the back. That'l free up space in both gardens. I'll keep a single chair to sit in in the Meditation Garden and the 2 seater Bistro set is more than enough for us when we wish to eat "al fresco";>


Clinic today. The plus? My hips aren't bad enough to need replacing at present. The Minus'?
Since the hips aren't the source of the hip pain the probable culprit is most probable my spine, esp from what the x-rays showed. The herniated disk is now ruptured, another is now herniated and the spines on the sides of my lowest vertebrae have been rubbing together and formed a deformation. All of which are pressing on various nerves including my Spinal Cord. It does explain a lot of what's been going on though.
I'm up to be scheduled for an MRI and after that application to one of the local Pain clinics. The most probable treatment will be shots into the affected areas to decrease inflammation and take the pressure off of those nerves.
Until then my MD's increased my AM dose of Morphine to 60mg since the Pain is worse upon activity and I do all my exercising and work before noon(it's Florida. If it's Bloody 80F at 0430 you can guess what it'd be by lunchtime;>).

Learning is Fundamental!

For the last few months I've been enjoying watching Dr. Jackson Crawford's Old Norse channel on YouTube. Formerly a professor in the California Uni system, he is presently returned to his home in Colorado teaching at U of Co Boulder.
I esp like that he uses the reconstructed Old Norse of the period the Eddas were written down, though it at 1st was jarring since I'd learned my ON using Modern Icelandic pronunciation.
He's a stickler for the most accurate translation as possible(even having his own published) and goes back to the Codex Regius NOT transcribed copies that are posted on some ON websites. I personally thought ALL the ON Eddic poems had been translated for the original CR. You learn something new every day. Which is a great thing IMO!
He isn't a co-religionist but has stated that he can't find a better guide to life than the Havamal; which he's got a stand alone book on coming out this Fall with the CR on one page and his translation on the other AND why he translates something so if it contradicts other scholars. Needless to say, that's on my Yule list;>!
In my personal life, his work has oft reinforced experiences with the Regin that differed from what I'd been taught or is on most websites. A good example is Hel. Pop Heathenry and most translators describe Her as half Lady half rotting corpse(or skeleton), which is NOT my experience in Trancework. He actually used Her as an example on one of his lectures on how the ON perceived Colors. The word(I believe Blaugh but I may misremember) that most translators read as Black is actually Blue(Black being a shade of Blue, which actually makes sense). Readings from various lays the word was mostly used to describe, well what we would recognize as a Goth look; Blue-ish White, Ill or recently Dead. NOT ROTTING, NOT A SKELETON. So, basically she's SUPPOSED to be seen as some Gothic Lady not part corpse. And on that....in another vid the word that's most oft translated as half is also used as "part". So, more accurately, She should be described pretty much looking like an upper class Lady with TB....a look that for some reason was considered very attractive for Women in Europe.

Garden Overhaul....

Couldn't have happened at a worse time for me physically but the Crape Myrtle tree in the front garden was removed and replaced with a Japanese Maple. From Full to Part Shade to Full Sun in a couple of hrs. Needless to say, there WERE casualties.
On the plus side, more flowering plants prefer Sun and with the increased illumination, I should be getting Mandarins off my tree.
It is a bit annoying to have to take a couple of days to do what I could have done even last yr in about a 1/2 hr but it is what it is....

Lost in Translation....

A point was made by one of my fav YouTubers Doctor Jackson Crawford about modern creations such as the NNV's and such. A lot of Wisdom gets lost when you try to condense what is basically a small book into nine words.
I admit, the Havamal is my fav bit of Lore, even over the Voluspa. I've read mult translations and Meditated on the stanzas of both mult times. While the Voluspa nourishes my Mystical/Religious side, the Havamal does my sense of Ethics and Morals. True, some are definitely out of sync with Info Age folks in 1st World countries but in general they are a great source of Wisdom in how to interact while Incarnated. Shiteloads better than the Bible.
You will be much better off to read even a "meh" translation of the Havamal than to download one of the half dozen Nine Noble Virtues I've run into in the last 2 and a half decades. It's not so you can make Afterlife Points, it's to live a Good one....


Over the yrs I've run into both folks asking how the Runestaves are made AND numerous workshoppes and books where we're told that either there is "No One Way" or some complicated method without Lore backing.
Now, I'm quite sure that in the later centuries of each(Elder, Younger and Futhorc) that individuals or "schools DID come up with methods to make things more"witchy" but IMO the earliest methods were probably the simplest.
Runestaves were originally designed to be carved. The Futhorc simply exchanged a quill for a chisel. If you want to know how to "rist" Elder or Younger Futharks, study how a craftsperson carves stone or wood. For the Futhorc? Calligraphy.
Fridhr, Pat